“It can happen to anyone.” 玛琳·哈里斯

Over 10 million adults experience domestic violence each year in the United States (源). 1999年，玛琳·哈里斯（Marlene Harris）就是其中之一。 今天，玛琳认为自己是一个幸存者，一个茁壮成长的人，但她的旅程是漫长的。

玛琳最近接受了皇冠app的采访，分享了她的生存故事，因为她想让尽可能多的人了解家庭暴力的破坏性影响。 “I buried my head in the sand for a long time. I wasn’t confident because I didn’t think anyone wanted to hear my story. Now I’m on the opposite end of that. 我想成为教育人们的一部分。 Anyone who wants to hear my story can hear it because it’s important,” Harris says.

玛琳的故事

1999年，哈里斯带着她的三个孩子离开了她和施虐者的家。 She found a payphone and called the Domestic Violence Hotline at Interval House, one of Connecticut’s 18 different domestic violence agencies. Interval House帮助Marlene和她的孩子们找到了一个安全的房子，他们在那里住了六个星期，然后搬进了支持性和过渡性的住房。 Like many victims, Marlene wasn’t aware of the many ways domestic violence shows up in a partnership. “Many victims out there don’t understand that they are in an abusive situation. 有一天我醒来，意识到我是多么孤立。 滥用的层面太多了。 At the time, I didn’t know the details about abuse,” says Harris.

家庭暴力是一种日益严重的流行病。 Between 2016 and 2018, the rates of domestic violence increased by 42% in the United States (源). 哈里斯分享了她的故事，以教育人们了解家庭暴力的各个层面，因为并非所有事件都涉及身体暴力。 哈里斯说：“我的施虐者只把手放在我身上一次，但我所经历的情感、经济和性虐待要严重得多。”

在恋爱期间，玛琳想回到学校攻读学位。 她试图去上课，但施虐者会在她上学的时候把她年幼的孩子单独留在家里。 “He knew I would quit school because of the children. The abuse impacted my not being able to go back to school.”

获得学位

Since leaving that night in 1999, Harris has earned her associate degree and bachelor’s degree at 皇冠app while also working for the University during several important years of Goodwin’s growth from the Data Institute to what we know as Goodwin today. 经历了虐待的另一边，玛琳现在在间隔之家担任受害者倡导者。

Marlene第一次从女儿那里了解到皇冠app，她的女儿之前在数据研究所完成了一个暑期项目，当时正在皇冠app学院就读。 玛琳申请了招生部门的接待员职位，并在离开虐待她的伴侣后不久开始在皇冠app工作。 “I had not long gotten out of my marriage. I was not in a very good place, but I needed to work.”

据全国反家庭暴力联盟称，家庭暴力的受害者每年失去许多天的有薪工作。 “The effects of the abuse showed up on the job. 我有很多时间不用上班。 I told a few people about my experience, but not the people I should have.” 尽管玛琳没有和她的上司和皇冠app的领导分享她的个人经历，但她发现皇冠app的环境很支持她，给了她开始康复所需的空间。 玛琳在事业上步步高升，先是担任行政助理，最后成为皇冠app护理部门的高级行政助理。 “Goodwin is so inclusive and nurturing for students and employees. 因为他们为人们提供的资源，在皇冠app让我想为自己做得更好。 The people at Goodwin encouraged me from day one to the very end.”

While working at Goodwin, Marlene earned her associate degree and finished her bachelor’s degree. “As I got more and more comfortable and confident, I decided to go back to school. 这里的文化和环境都很有教养，教授们也很有帮助。 I didn’t have much confidence in myself then, and I got the support that I needed.”

玛琳将她在皇冠app的成功归功于教授们帮助她重建了对自己和能力的信心。 “When I doubted myself, I could always count on my professors to encourage me. They talked me out of giving up so many times.”

Marlene chose a 公共服务专业。 As her knowledge and skillsets grew, she decided to make a career shift. 哈里斯辞去了皇冠app的工作，在哈特福德高等法院的司法系统内全职为间隔之家工作，作为家庭暴力受害者的倡导者，帮助受害者通过司法程序。 “I left Goodwin to work at Interval House because I wanted to do the work — trauma-informed work.” 当Covid-19大流行袭来时，哈里斯在家兼职，同时在家教育她收养的7岁的双胞胎孙女。

Unfortunately, the impact of domestic violence can cross generations and has consequences that last a lifetime (源). Harris’s son was just nine years old when she left her abuser. “He had his dad on a pedestal until we left, and then he understood what was really happening,” says Marlene. 她的儿子正在与毒瘾作斗争，这是他小时候目睹的虐待造成的毁灭性影响的结果。 现年60岁的哈里斯正在抚养她儿子的双胞胎女儿。

哈里斯最近回到间隔之家，担任受害者维权热线，每周几个晚上接听她1999年第一次拨打的同一条电话。 “You never know who is going to be on the other line of that phone.” 哈里斯分享了发生在她身上的事情，因为家庭暴力跨越了所有社会经济界限。 “There is no age limit. 任何人都可能遭受虐待，从教师到学生或员工。 You’d be surprised by the number of people I’ve sat across from who was a victim. You never know who you can reach.”

Harris’s journey of healing isn’t over. But as a survivor and an advocate, she understands everything that goes into a 人类服务事业. “I’ve learned over the years to pace myself. Self-care is so important.” 去教堂、阅读和锻炼对她的康复和持续的自我照顾至关重要。

“It’s about educating people and empowering people. I’m not out here to tell people to leave, but by telling my story, I hope I can help people recognize abuse within themselves or their situation.”

“I consider myself a thriver. I’m an alumni and a thriver. Onward and upward.”

——marlene Harris, BS Human Services 2014

每天，家庭暴力热线都会接到19000多个电话。 A bachelor’s degree in Human Services from 皇冠app can give you the skills and experience you need to become an advocate helping families experiencing domestic violence.

If you are in crisis, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-779-SAFE (7233) or visit www.thehotline.org.